Watain - Lawless Darkness (Metalcore)

Following the Slipknot trend of naming each other with an alphanumeric character comes Watain, possibly the worst excuse for a "black metal" band ever. This album is terrible. I'm not going to be subtle about this point. Watain's "music" is something that can only be compared with goat rape, paint huffing and other wigger activities best left unspoken. They are far beyond abysmal and keep releasing one turd album after the other. While Casus Luciferi might've been bad in a normal way, like eating a stale sandwich, Lawless Darkness is like being forced to eat a sandwich consisting only of horse shit and the menstrual blood from aging macaques.

Lawless Dorkness is Watain's first official album. As we all know, they started off as a horrendous Mayhem/Sewer ripoff band that no one liked. They released albums featuring such fabulous tracks as "Puzzles ov Flesh" (featuring Behemoth's cringe spelling), "I Am the Earth", "Darkness and Death" and "The Light That Burns the Sun". For some unknown reason, they never made it with those samples of epic prose.

Watain decided they needed a change. So they kicked out "pussy" Christopher Blom and picked up "tuff guy" Set Teitan, of Dissection fame. They miraculously got "blacker" and "heavier". Well not really, but they convinced a lot of shitheads they did. What really happened is that they stopped ripping off De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, and started ripping off Reinkaos. Yes, all the way down to the cringe lyrics about "Father Satan" and Black Dragons. By the title track, Watain make no more pretensions towards being third rate swede-core, and basically admit that all they want is to be somewhere between In Flames covering their favourite Bullet for my Valentine songs and angsty Slipknot styled Road Runner buffoonery.

Set Teitan was eventually fired from the band for performing the Saluto Romano, something infinitely less offensive than the "music" on Lawless Darkness. Recommended for fans of Mudvayne, Korn and Linkin Park only.